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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26934145">Whom Made Me Fly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEV_07/pseuds/SEV_07'>SEV_07</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Hurt, M/M, Mentions of final arc scenes, One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:10:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26934145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEV_07/pseuds/SEV_07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hallo!! So this one-shot is just a literal what if.</p><p> </p><p>A what-if short au wherein: "What if Oikawa didn't have a strong heart?"</p><p> </p><p>[Oneshot. Oikage. Angst. Ooc?]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Whom Made Me Fly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"If you're going to hit it, hit it until it breaks..."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>- Oikawa Tooru</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The dead of the night,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Happy laughs once used to fill the air, now all the stray cat had to do was to stare at the figure of a high-schooler, sporting a mop of dark hair. Duffle bag now on the dirty local park's floor, his usual training gear scattered around. Drip,</p><p> </p><p>drip,</p><p> </p><p>drip</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Goes from his sapphire-like orbs down the dry earth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Possibly it was too much to bear for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Explained by how Tobio never really thought about things.</p><p> </p><p>And knowing a character like him, Tobio would never think of anything else other than a certain sport. So if he's occupied and rendered to a fit of deep thinking, the receiving end of those thoughts must be <em>that </em>important.</p><p> </p><p>And it was none other than Oikawa Tooru himself.</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa, he was a stupid senpai, sure he was mean to him. He will never forget the fear that loomed over him the first time his arms outstretched to harm Tobio's little self. He was young then, bound within a number, and of cluelessness and curiosity. But what had him attached was that Tooru simply was shining in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He loved volleyball, possibly and it was something of no sense to gauge and compare his feelings towards the sport and his other interest, the bottom line was it simply revolved on volleyball.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that's where he met that nasty alien loving brunette.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And worse yet it was the stage in his life where came forth stupid judgments.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He thought, as his heart pounded.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Perhaps, if one's chest hurts this much a conflict must've been going inside his being.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He asked a reliable person then, and found that his speculations weren't even an inch wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Iwaizumi-senpai," the latter turned unto him sweat-drenched of training, replying with a hum.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"What does it mean when your heart hurts as you look at a person?" Fiddled his fingers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi was taken aback.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"And if you long for them? And dreamt of them? And possibly unconsciously the thoughts of them never left your mind?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His eyes looked through Hajime's, the one of older age immediately knew what those eyes say.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Kageyama you..." Iwaizumi whispered out with a soft tone of bewilderment and shock.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tobio understood that the upperclassmen caught on what it was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I know I'm not sick. I'm not that stupid to think that," He chuckled as a lump started to form on his throat.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"And I am afraid to think that what this is, is what it really is."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Was I too late?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His eyes traveled to the court Oikawa usually occupies in the gym to practice his jump serves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Shouldn't I have said something?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi's eyes began to soften.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tobio's eyes earlier were of so much desire.</p><p> </p><p>The gaze of someone who loves,</p><p> </p><p>and the same of those who regrets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"If I did something... shouldn't I have stopped him?"</p><p> </p><p>"Iwaizumi-senpai please... tell me... was I a reason?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"The admiration I felt, it was as if it is possible to sculpt someone as a god in my mind. If he's a god then, Oikawa-senpai's cruel then? Should've I said my prayers so he won't go and curse me rather than bless me?"</p><p> </p><p>"Why did he have to leave?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi, eighteen years old. As much as he wanted to say something,</p><p> </p><p>Like Tobio, he wasn't able to.</p><p> </p><p>There back within the four confines, the foggy chill of the night.</p><p> </p><p>Kageyama Tobio, sixteen years old, cried in pain. Of utter resentment to himself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If he was a good person, enough to pull that lonely soul back.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe, now that as the Finals of the Spring Nationals in his first year approached. Maybe he'd be able to witness that smile of joy to hold a ball once again of a milky chocolate haired senpai.</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa Tooru, age 18, committed suicide after losing to Karasuno. It was a failed attempt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He received a huge amount of words of encouragement.</p><p> </p><p>But there was no more light.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hard work they say will be earned.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he wasn't meant to harvest what he planted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As Tooru's sunken eyes stared off to the ceiling of his dark room, he realized there was a much more suitable location to meet one's end.</p><p> </p><p>He climbed up the cold bars and stood atop the top of his world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Dear Everyone, Iwa-chan... Tobio-chan," his hands trembled as balanced himself against the rails.</p><p> </p><p>"When you all see this, please continue to love, have fire and be passionate to reach your dreams," tears began to stain his neat handwriting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Not all things are meant for a person, perhaps it was unfair? For me to ask the heavens of what I do not have. Playing with the Kitagawa and Aoba team... truly I am grateful to all our wonderful moments."</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you for loving volleyball as I did. Thank you for being here."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Perhaps I was tired?" He chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>"Forgive me for not holding out. But be assured that I lived a good life..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Just maybe I could be born in another world where I have a stronger will to fight, where I am not afraid to glare back into uncertainties."</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe in that world, I can be on top."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Funny, now I'm literally atop," he laughed maniacally.</p><p> </p><p>As gigles bubbled up his throat, as his tears seemed to fly upwards. Air was hitting his back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A mere three-second felt like an eternity as the roof seemed to open up to reveal the carpet of stars.</p><p> </p><p>As the sky light grew bright, his vision much more blurred.</p><p> </p><p>This time it was a success.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oikawa Tooru, age eighteen, died of suicide by jumping atop of Sendai Gym. He was found in a dismembered state at the floor where the match of Shiratorizawa and Karasuno was supposed to occur.</p><p> </p><p>His family, teammates, and close friends, out of horror weren't able to hold the match, and thus it was moved a week after a proper burial was made.</p><p> </p><p>It was almost traumatic in other people's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>But to those who lost, it was a fond memory.</p><p> </p><p>"Kageyama Tobio, what inspired to be a pro-volleyball player here in Italy? Why don't you do a little thank you shout-out to them?"</p><p> </p><p>"He's an amazing person. And perhaps my achievements could be good enough thank you's"</p><p> </p><p>His goals, his medals, it was all left beside his grave.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>To whom made me fly,</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oikawa Tooru, I admire you,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No matter what world you were talking about we come to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I will keep you in my heart.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A friend, a tight-knit rival, a senpai, a lover. You will always be one that I remember.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sincerely Kageyama Tobio.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I literally just sat down and typed it out...</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for reading!!</p><p>~ Sev</p></blockquote></div></div>
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